The Trouble Boy by Tom Dolby

Author:Tom Dolby [Dolby, Tom]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780758206176
Publisher: Kensington Books
Published: 2013-05-22T04:00:00+00:00

A few days later, Donovan called me from his cell phone. “LA is fabulous,” he said. “The boys are incredibly hot. I think we should all move out here when we get sick of New York.”

“I’ll never get sick of New York,” I said.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Your friend Elizabeth?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, we had a few drinks, and we were having a really good time and one thing led to another . . .”

I couldn’t believe this. “What is it with you?” I said. “One thing always just leads to another, doesn’t it? You’re fucking transsexuals, you’re fucking women. Next you’re going to be into bestiality?” I was disgusted and furious, but also strangely attracted. Donovan was like a sexual adventurer, exploring new lands.

“She was really upset about her boyfriend dumping her, and she kept going on about how all her male friends are gay and beautiful and they won’t sleep with her, and I figured, since I’m sort of exploring this new side of myself . . .”

“What new side is that? The ‘I’m a bisexual slut’ side?”

“Toby, that’s not fair. It’s just, you know, I had sex with Lola, and that was fine, but then I was thinking, Lola’s not a real woman, and I wondered what a real woman would feel like.”

“So you’re using my friend as a test subject for your personal Kinsey Report?”

“No, I think we really had something together.”

“Oh, whatever, you really ‘had something together.’ I really have something with my cat, but I don’t fuck him! You can’t play with people like this, Donovan. Elizabeth is very fragile right now; she doesn’t need added complications in her life.”

There was silence on the line. “Are you done ripping me a new asshole?” he finally said.

I had never spoken to him like this before. “Girls take this kind of thing seriously, at least the girls I know. They don’t just sleep with guys and not expect to be called again.”

“There’s something else you should know. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to hear it from her.”

“Yes?”

“She asked me not to use a condom.”

“Jesus Christ. Did you come inside her?”

There was a pause. I could hear the traffic in the background.

“No, I pulled out,” he said after a moment.

“Oh, that’s really safe,” I said sarcastically.

“The whole thing was really weird, because afterwards she kept talking about how much she wanted children. But she said she was on the pill.”

“That doesn’t stop you from spreading diseases.”

“Excuse me, ‘spreading diseases.’ What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I meant catching diseases. I’m sorry, that came out the wrong way.”

“Damn straight it did.”

“Well, have you had an HIV test?” This increasingly seemed like a strange conversation to be having on a cell phone.

“I haven’t been tested recently,” he said. “But I’m going to get one soon. And don’t worry, I’m not going to stop sleeping with guys.”

“Oh, I feel much better now,” I said. “But for God’s sake, please be more careful.”

Elizabeth was a complete idiot.

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